xxSurayaroses’ blog

I know I'm always seen as a bubbly, fearless, cheerful girl.
but thats only one side of me.

you don't know me yet, so don't judge

okay

Bring it on
I've got so much to lose
And even though it might mean loosing you
Yeah
She won't make me stop loving you
Even though her truck load of charm's charming you
And even if I get hurt
I think I'll never learn
Because my heart's pumping but it's bullet proof
Yeah it's bullet proof
You're my hand gun, so shoot me down

Say how
Say who
Who can I ever trust?
My feeling's drenched with my selfless tears
 I'm ready to hit the bus
And No matter what I'll always be
A hopeless romantic that you'll never see
You'll never see

My heart's the only thing I'll never let you see
Cause I know you know almost everything about me
I'll keep my secret locked inside
Even if the world stops and I'm caved in
I know you're the only one I'm caring

It's Ramadhan already. wow, who would have thought?
I try to look back at things... at how so much has passed me. Next year I shall turn 16.
Yes, I'm still so young, but to me turning 16 is something I would have never thought..
Honestly I never imagined myself living right now. I would have wanted death just two years ago.
All that has changed now, I got my moment of searching for light and I've found it.

But that leaves me here right now... what I prepared for? What am I living for exactly?
There must be something in life i must be good at... but what is it?
Yup, it's that time of life for me. Wanting, hoping for something..
Something that will change my life forever...

I'm still as positive as ever, don't get this posting in a wrong way or anything.
It's just that I'm thinking and constantly thinking. For once I want to do something
without thinking and not regret it. But when will that be?

i'll keep on smiling, dont worry.

i wont cry again.

no worries.

I never learn do I?

If only you knew how much I love you.

God, this hurts so much

Thank You Dahnia for the advice.

I think i've got my vengence and revenge today.
Although not exactly the way I wanted.
But let's hope he realizes what he has done to me . :)

Maybe we were meant to be .... I guess.

But who knows.
Maybe not, maybe. Just maybe...

Maybe my illusions are taking me somewhere that I'm not suppose to .

Maybe.... I should learn to let go.

I'm so tired,
Too tired
Of all this effing crazy thing.
So I've decided I want to back out of it.
I need to put an end to this.
If you're not willing to then I will.

So much has to be said. So many things playing in my head.

I wonder when will I ever find the time to write it all out here? When can I actually let it all out?
So much anger. So much sadness. So much guilt. So much HAPPINESS.

When will I eventually write it all down? 

I'm not one of those people who just say nothing about it at all. I need to say something.
I need to talk about it. So let's talk already.